Updated: Jun 2, 2019
Our bodies are the physical manifestation of the self,
The way we walk,
The way we seat,
Our physical abilities and our limitations & pains.
For many years I carried shoulder blade pain, sometimes it was really bad and even my arm would get numb, other times for a while I didn’t feel it at all.
I tried many things to take care of it and every time, even if straight after it felt good for a while, not more than a week and I would feel it again. It got to situation where in yoga and acroyoga poses I would collapse.
Today when I look back I feel that at that time my body was so strong and I was doing crazy stuff with it, maybe it was too strong. I mean to the outside while at the same time in my body there was a lot of vulnerability and softness fearing to unfold and come out.
Back then I realized that this shoulder pain, although I really want it to go away. It’s not something to be fixed. If I want to change it my body and I will have to go through a process what I named than - learning process.
That's the time where Bodywork therapy got into my life.
In my process I did discover a lot of vulnerability and softness, but also a lot of holdings, fears and also courage and strength.This process with my body taught me to listen, to respect, to appreciate the great teacher that this body is for me. Once I learned to listen it revealed and told everything that I forgot or ignored.
My practice changed with this process, from dynamic, acrobatic, strong and forced. To sometimes slow, soft, present, I still love to stand on my hands and move in playfulness way but I discover that when my body is being mindful and present then some days it can move like that, others it need me more still and in general when I integrate in my practice the in with the out, my core is engage and present and my strength comes from within - out.
I tell students and clients many time - “Don’t lose your integrity”.
What do I mean ?
Many times we so want to be somewhere, some asana, some pose, some place in life, in some relationship. We loss ourselves on the way there when we force the body to show up when actually we compensate with outer strength - hurting ourselves.
What I suggest?
In our practice and in our life working from within, working with our core. It has its own rhythm, it won’t show up as we want. But this is our truth and our integrity for this moment in time.